As individuals age, maintaining independence becomes increasingly important. For many seniors, the ability to drive represents more than just a means of transportation—it embodies freedom, autonomy, and a sense of control over one’s life. However, it’s essential to recognize that as we age, changes in physical health, cognitive function, and sensory abilities can impact our driving skills.
This is typically one of the most difficult topics a caregiver faces with an aging parent. For many seniors, the ability to drive represents more than just a means of transportation – it embodies freedom, autonomy, and a sense of control. Giving up this freedom leads to many seniors feeling defensive and angry; however, it is essential to recognize that as we age, changes in physical health, cognitive function, and sensory abilities can impact our driving skills. Here are some tips for making the conversation successful below.
- Prepare for the conversation by gathering some examples –
Before starting a conversation with the older person, make note of the reasons you feel they would be safer as a passenger. Take a short drive together and notice any of the warning signs of unsafe driving that you are concerned about (getting lost on their route, not making full stops, driving too slow/fast). When you sit down to talk, express that their well-being is your utmost concern. Sharing your observations about their driving will help you illustrate why you are concerned for their safety and the safety of others. (For some people, the well-being of others may resonate more than their own safety). It’s ok to cite external factors for your concern. For example, “Most other drivers are distracted, and I’m concerned that that puts you at risk.” - Approach the subject from a place of respect and concern –
Respect your loved one’s dignity. Instead of pointing out all the reasons they are unsafe to drive, express your concerns to your loved one, and ask for their opinions and feelings. Make sure the conversation doesn’t come across as an intervention. Emphasize that you share the same goals: to bolster their independence, and to keep them safe. Be sure you set aside time to process the emotions associated with this transition. - Discuss alternative transportation –
To ensure your loved one can remain active and engaged in their community after they stop driving, help them plan for alternative types of transportation. For example, if they drive to book club every week, reach out to a friend who also attends and ask if they can carpool. If they shop for groceries, arrange to have the groceries delivered or consider whether it’s time for home-delivered meals. Ride-sharing programs such as Lyft or Uber can be easy and cost-effective and offer the added benefit of helping your parent feel that by summoning a ride, they’re still in control. Or consider hiring a private duty companion who can drive your loved one to activities and run errands. Your local Office on Aging may also offer transportation and ride-share programs if your loved one qualifies. - Give it time –
Your loved one is unlikely to decide to stop driving after one conversation, so be prepared to continue the discussion over time. Acknowledge that this loss of independence is coming at a time in which they are likely experiencing many losses at once—of health, ability, and of friends and family members. Check in often and encourage your loved one to try other forms of transportation whenever possible. - Bring in a professional –
If you are struggling, it can help to bring in a professional who can explain the risks of driving and what the alternatives are. Allow an expert to facilitate these kinds of conversations and provide a family consultation to help you navigate difficult decisions. If a driver is showing signs of unsafe driving, consulting their physician is a good first step – perhaps there is a medical condition or medications they are taking that might impair their driving ability. A Care Manager or other aging professional in your local area can also help to facilitate these conversations and guide you to additional resources to support your needs.
Why is it crucial for older adults to evaluate their driving skills? With nearly 20 percent of licensed drivers in the U.S. aged 65 or older, it’s evident that senior drivers play a significant role in our roadways. However, subtle changes in physical and cognitive abilities can increase the risk of accidents. By proactively evaluating driving skills, seniors can ensure their safety and the safety of others while maintaining their independence. Fendrick Morgan can help. Call us at 856-489-8388 to schedule a family consultation.
